Each week in October there will be a new chapter of the Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2!
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: Chapter One
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: Chapter Two (Coming Soon)
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: Chapter Three (Coming Soon)
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: Chapter Four (Coming Soon)
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: Chapter Five (Coming Soon)
Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2: The Tybee Uranium Killer
Chapter One: The Not So Wonderful Land of Oz
The question of how raw gemstones could burn floated across Max’s mind. However, he pushed that query aside. It was much more important to avoid the large, flaming projectiles falling about him. Munchkins scurrying in front and to the sides of him, as well as dashing under his legs, made the task difficult. Only fifty or so feet separated him from the so-called wizard, and maybe twenty feet to the balloon.
From behind him, he heard the vampire Debra cackle and cried out, “Ep-pe, pep-pe, kak-ke!”
Turning his head, he could see her, devilish grin, sharp fangs, crimson lips and eyes, and most important of all, the golden cap and silver slippers.
“Hil-lo, hol-lo, hel-lo!” She flung her arms out at forty-five degrees, clenching her fists. Somehow, her smile grew wider. “Ziz-zy, zuz-zy, zik!” Then, she yanked her arms down, forming a criss-crossed X.
Winged monkeys dive bombed all around Max, pummeling some citizens of the Emerald City while attaching their claws onto others and flying straight up out of view.
A few minutes ago it was all so simple, calm even. Debra had refused a plea deal as the Wizard Crown’s lawyer insisted she confess to an attempted coup against the realms. The primary evidence against her was that the golden cap and silver slippers allegedly were found in her bag. She insisted the Wizard’s guards planted them on her. In the classic lawyer trick of “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” Max asked for the court to allow Debra to try on the gloves and slippers. That was where it all went wrong. The vampiress went from a lawyer-coached-but-believable docile to maniacal in the same amount of time a toddler goes from babbling to rampaging when fed a full-sized energy drink. It was when the first kaiju roar erupted from Debra that Max decided to book it.
About twenty yards in front of him was the wizard with his balloon.
“Don’t leave me here!” Max screamed.
It was the least the man could do for Max. Witness testimonies painted the image of the Wizard setting Debra up on an elaborate scheme that was secretly a plot to knock off some of his rivals. That was like giving a chimp a box of grenades because she managed to do it and then some. And now the innocent creatures of Oz were paying for it.
But the Nebraskan charlatan wasn’t waiting for Max. Instead, the man threw off the rope, which caused the balloon to rise.
“Oh no you don’t,” yelled Max.
With a herculean effort, he sucked in air then leaped and screamed at the same time. His hands grasped the end of the rope.
Lifting off the ground was terrifying, but the strain his weight put on his arms was worse. It was now or never. After bellowing out his pain, he swung his left arm out and then grabbed higher on the rope. He then did the same with his right.
From below he could hear Debra yell, “That’s it, Max! Use your zombie strength! Think of his delicious brain!”
How he wished he could tell his client to shut up, though his mind stayed focused on the matter at hand. He gritted his teeth as he continued ascending. Finally, he latched onto the rim of the basket.
“Give me a hand!”
Just then, a flurry of fur and monkey noises erupted in a cacophony of panic and rage in the balloon’s basket. Then, everything went silent.
Debra’s joyful face popped over the side. “Max! Great job distracting him. My flying monkeys took care of everything. Boy, I’m going to have some fun when we return to-.” She stopped and gazed at Max. “Hey, let me help you.”
Her grip felt light, but she was able to lift Max with ease into the basket. A fangy smile adorned her face as she did so. When she got him in, she patted him on the back, then posed with her chest pushed forward and hands on her hips.
“For a zombie, you are pretty smart. Getting them to give me the slippers and cap allowed us to escape. You were so convincing! I,” she said pointing to herself, “almost believed you when you said I had never seen those slippers before in my life.” She burst out laughing. “They caught me wearing those slippers turning that whiny lumberjack into a tin man! Boy, are they dumb!”
Max studied Debra as she continued recounting her crime spree. Internal organs began bubbling, causing his temperature to rise. He squinted his eyes at her while his justice-oriented mind pondered how he could put things right. An idea slithered into his head when Debra leaned backward towards the edge of the balloon’s basket.
However, before he could act, a bright golden light overwhelmed all senses, making Max cover his eyes. As he continued to block out the light, he noted Debra had silenced herself.
He sucked in air, counted to five, and raised one finger and then the other off his eyes. The bright light was gone. Letting his palm off his hand, he was about to ask what the heck that was when out of the corner of his eye he spots the golden hue outline of his ghost pal Fred.
“Fred!” Max declared.
Debra tilted her head and said, “Oh my gosh, Fred! Where have you been? I’ve been needing some help and I had to settle for our rotting co-worker here.”
The golden ghost bowed his head and looked at Max. “It is great seeing you again, friend.” Then, turning to Debra, “I saved the soul of our attacker, thus sparing Max a similar fate to yours, and then was assumed into Heaven.” He blinked. “And you never asked Max about my fate.”
A popping sound went off as Debra’s crimson lips parted. Red eyes bounced from Fred to Max and back to Fred again. Her mouth began moving but then froze. Again, her eyes bounced back and forth between her lawyer and the ghost.
A bright glow on Fred rose and then receded. “I was hoping for more,” the specter sighs, “but that is not why I have come. I’m now a saint and on a mission to save you-.”
Max’s whole body rocked. “Wait, a saint?! What’s it like on the other side? Is God-.”
“As I was saying,” Fred reasserted himself, “I am on a mission to save you and the people of Savannah. A new monster has emerged, and everyone who calls Savannah home is in danger. This balloon will take you back. Wait at the landing site, and the path forward will make itself known.”
Max steeled himself, straightened his back, and nodded once to his friend. As a kid, he envisioned himself as a knight who could bring justice to the land and safety to the innocent. The legal profession was his way to do the first part; now, the latter desire was within reach.
Debra, however, had a different idea. She gave a devilish smile and laughed. “Oh no, I have plans. With these slippers and this cap, me and my monkey army have some scores to settle in that so-called Hostess City of the South.”
“No, Debra,” Fred said, “I pleaded to save you two and Savannah, and you will have your chance to do just that.”
A comically yellow, zig-zagging lightening bolt zipped across the sky and zapped Debra. Max’s view flashed black and white as Debra’s body became a transparent skeleton, flailing about as the electricity coursed through her. When it was done, she stood there in her pristine 1920s wear feminine suit and tie, though her hair was smoldering and soot covered her face. Her countenance was one of complete shock.
Fred’s saintly spirit floated over to the paralyzed Debra and put its hand on her shoulder. “And you will do so as a human.” Next, he turned toward Max. “Wait where you land in Savannah. Meeting the police will start your journey.”
Before either Max or Debra could say anything, Fred disappeared in another flash of golden light.
The wind whipped up, causing Max to shiver as he looked about. Before him, looming clouds approached. He tried thinking of pithy words to say, but there was something about the growing bulge in the cloud dead ahead that stopped him.
As the balloon approached, the bulge grew into a pillar. It was then that Max could make out textures within the cloud, lines within it beginning to turn. He gasped. It was a tornado.
“Debra! Hold on!”
He turned to look at his companion, thinking perhaps she might have had a plan. Instead, her stiff body merely blinked. Turning back, he saw the funnel had turned into a twister that was headed straight for them.
“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home,” he pleaded as he knocked his feet together.
Into the storm, the balloon went. The speed he spun was faster than it had been when Debra took him to Oz. He was going to be sick.
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Each week in October there will be a new chapter of the Savannah Paranormal Detective Agency 2!
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